Living in Paonia, Colorado — a small and quaint artist town — has changed my sense of time. I feel a little like I’ve just entered a time warp, going from 60mph to 5mph, and the world is still slowing down as I integrate into my new rhythm.
Switching from shooting digitally (with virtually instant results), to shooting mostly film, it emphasizes the process of creating rather than the product or outcome. And in painting, as well — I need time to mix colors, let the paint dry between layers, and clean my brushes (if I want them to last).
It’s all got me noticing and wondering how much, and how often, I squeeze life into the margins trying to get a better or faster outcome or result. Having an opportunity to experience the difference between leaving the margins for what they’re there for, versus filling every possible second for efficiency, out of necessity (because there aren’t a lot of alternatives here) is showing me how ultimately ineffective trying to “do it all” really is. It drains me, leaving me but by bit less ready for the next day ahead — rather than resting in the natural pauses of my day, as I’m learning to do here.
I’m human, and I need time to breathe, to think, to process. I need time to feel, to consider, to choose wisely. And when I rob myself of that time so I can “get things done” I’m actually being less productive. Huh. It’s an odd reversal to think that being more productive actually means resting.